out in daylight, my potential

The last month, in summary: generally crap. Got derailed from writing for a while because of breakup drama, struggled with RP things because of reasons. Basically, February can go to hell.

Except for the Hamilton bootleg. That part was not so terrible.

Word Count: 12327 (with RP); 2755 (without RP). ....like I said, not great.
Stories Written: This one WG ficlet is all I finished; a couple of other things slowly getting added to that I will finish eventually.
Reading: A lot of Animorphs, currently paused at #25 while I wait for actuallyclintbarton to catch up with me; The Sleeping Beauty by Mercedes Lackey, because I like to read silly fluffy fantasy when I am sad.

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This month: writing again! Actually finishing some goddamn fics. Figuring out what the hell I am doing with my larger projects. Burying myself in work in an attempt to distract myself from overwhelming anxiety about my living situation, once again.

( Month goals, for accountability reasons )

Yesterday was my birthday, and I actually managed to avoid being kicked in the face by my birthday curse. (Don't ask, but it exists.) I still didn't leave the house, because I really don't want to tempt fate that much, but thatrainbow and several other people wished me happy birthday, and nothing bad happened. It was magical.

Mat made me breakfast and dinner, and we put two coats of paint on the trim in the bedroom (well... Mat painted. I taped.) so it is almost done, and there was wine and brownies (and vodka the night before) and it was basically the best birthday I have had in very a long time.

In other news:

• Jae thinks the increased dose of drugs is helping. Now that the awful brainfuzzing side effects have mostly worn off, I have to agree with her that I am definitely perkier the past few days (although I disagree with her word choice there - I would like to think I don't do perky).
  
  
• There has been an orange ninja in my yard on a few seperate occasions, but given that my yard was A) full of cover for small furry animals and B) full of orange, it was kind of hard to identify it. The recent windstorm helped a little with both of those things, and today I actually got a good enough look to see that it's a gorgeous orange and white tom cat.
  I went outside to try and say hello, and he looked like he was considering coming over to meet me, but then something (I think one of the neighbor's dogs) spooked him and he took off. Because I am a sucker for furry things and the weather's been bad lately, I left the door to one of the sheds propped open, and a bowl of cat food in the floor in the shed. Just in case he needs it.
  
  
• I am starting to think maybe we should turn that shed into a chicken coop instead of going and building a whole new structure when we're ready for chickens. Mat wanting it for a painting and recording studio, but the garage has electricity and plenty of space for that plus the car once we actually get our stuff out of there and into the house and/or the storage shed. CHIKKINZ.
  
  
• I am going to start making lists of things I did every day. Because I tend to overload to do lists and then feel like a complete failure for not being superhuman. So maybe the other way around will work better for me.
  
  ( Today I: )

Ohgodmylifewhyyyy.

I am running on no sleep. And either I have forgotten what packing is usually like in the past two years, or it is just more hellish than usual this time. It's not like this is the first time we waited until the absolute last minute to get started. WHY SO HARD NOW.

...of course, my body hated me a lot less the last time we moved. And I wasn't going on two months of hellish insomnia. That might have something to do with it. Still.

Current status:
- Books all packed (except for the ones under the bed, because I can't GET to them right now).
- Clothes almost definitely entirely packed. I am fairly sure of this, because I had trouble finding a shirt when I realized I'd... neglected to leave one out to wear.
- Kitchen... mostly packed, I think. Everything I want is out of the upper cabinets, I just have to check the ones under the sink and the drawers.
- Desk still a disaster zone.
- Notebooks need to be sorted into ones I need in the next month or so, and ones I can shove in storage.
- Bag for notebooks need to be located. Probably going to be the Blue Sun bag, because my backpack has gone missing. Terribly mysterious.
- Cabinets and drawers in the living room need to be doublechecked for things I care about.
- Furniture needs to be dissassembled and... stuff (bed, two tables, and... actually, I don't think the desk comes apart).
- Bathroom needs to be searched for anything I care about.
- Various files need to be moved from Gwen to my external. And then I need to find something to DO with Gwen. I don't think I have a free bag for her. CRAP.
- Pet supplies need to be organized and put in one place.
- All three pets need to be bathed. This is the point at which I will probably break down and cry, if I haven't gotten there yet.

I'm just... staring blankly at the computer at this point. Need to get up the motivation and energy to go back to the kitchen. Can't.

EDIT: Out of tape. Send help. And by help, I don't mean more tape (though that would be nice). I mean, like, helicopters. Possibly snipers. ...I don't know what good that will do, but it would probably make me feel better. Or at least distract me.