out in daylight, my potential

Hello, everyone. I exist again. 2016 was hell for several different reasons, I couldn't write, and at a certain point talking about my life just made me sad so I drifted away from Dreamwidth. But it's a new year, I have insurance again and presumably medication soon, and I am trying to be a semi-functional adult again.

Quick intro for everyone I just added from the friending meme:

My name is Aubrey, or Birdie, whichever you prefer. I'm 28, lesbian, poly, mentally ill and physically disabled. I live in Florida (not my first or tenth or probably twentieth choice of places to live, but here I am) with my partner, actuallyclintbarton, and our other partner storyinmypocket will be moving in with us later this month!

Animals we live with include: Ace, a shepherd/pitbull mix, who is made of wrinkles and cuddles; Princess Olivia Natalia, a strange deerlike changeling child of no particular breed; the twins, Quentin and Toby, one of which is the light of my life and my daemon and has never done anything wrong ever in her life, and the other is her brother and an adorable little shit; and Ariel, who is vast and orange and not very bright. I love them all very much, even when they're terrible.

I like comics and fantasy and folklore and ancient history and tabletop rp, and I write novels and original fic. I'm going to try to talk more about all of those things, as well as lifestuff and more animal pictures, when I am actually medicated. Very soon.

Everyone who is new here, welcome to whatever this is! Everyone who's been here for a while, welcome baaack? Hi. I missed you.

Uggghhhh. I woke up to find one of the cats (probably Toby) had chewed right through my headphones. I really liked that pair, and they were a gift from a friend. :c

This is not an issue when I have an office with a door that closes, because I lock the cats out of it when I leave and all the things they will destroy stay inside. But I have lost so many headphones since we've been here. So. Fucking. Many.

Also tried to pull my office chair out yesterday so I could use one of our tiny folding tables as a desk-like surface... and it promptly screwed up my back so bad breathing almost made me cry. Tried it again briefly today and yep. Not working. I really appreciate the thought process that led to buying the person with chronic pain a chair with a back that isn't contoured and isn't adjustable. That was a brilliant move. I'd honestly be better off in a well-padded folding chair at this point.

...today is not a total wash, though, because KM got some late Christmas money and is paying me back for using mine on household items. We are getting food and going to Barnes & Noble and I will figure out the rest of my day after that.

Uggghhh. We took Ariel to the vet today, because he has been tearing up his ears and moved on to his neck - it looked like it might be getting better for a while, but nope, very much not better, so vet became necessary.

( Cut for grossness and money stuff )


In writing news, the Kilgate series is going to be about two books longer than I thought. The book I thought was going to be first is now third, and has to be completely replotted now. Also I have to figure out what I'm doing in those first two books. I am still not quite done throwing a tantrum about this, even though I can already see that the books that come out of it will be better for it.

Still cranky. My life would have been much easier had I figured this out, say, a few years ago. And I am really tired of plotting and worldbuilding and all the foundational stuff. I just want to have one project where I am ready to actually write... but nothing's quite there yet. God damn it.

So I have a new cat. This was unplanned, but it is not that much more expensive to feed one more cat, and she needed us. We are not 100% for sure keeping her yet - it's kind of waiting on her FIV/FeLV tests, because we can't afford to infect our other cats - but if that comes back clear... yeah, she's almost definitely staying with us.


Her name is Morrigan, and she is a lilac tortoiseshell Siamese mix... a little darker than the weird green lighting in that photo shows. We're pretty sure she's May's sister - she's probably the same age, has the same Siamese facial features and giant ears, and genetics that are frankly very unlikely to find in a random stray (half the cats on the property look like they're some variety of Siamese mix, so we figure someone must have dumped one or several at some point in the past). She also has the same demanding, imperious Siamese personality, so at this point there's very little doubt.

She showed up a couple days after the incident with May and her kittens and the police, obviously pregnant and way, way too skinny. She wouldn't come any closer than sniffing my fingers that day, but I fed her some and kept an eye out for her, and she came back the next day.

That time she let me pet her, so I picked her up by the scruff of the neck and brought her inside... where she promptly flipped out, sliced open Mat's hand and flung herself at a window that does not open in an attempt to escape. She calmed down pretty quickly, and warmed up very fast, so we think she just must not have had much human attention or been inside in a very long time, though she's friendly enough that at some point she must have been owned by someone. Our current theory is that someone had her and May and at least one possible sibling as kittens and dumped them when they moved away. It seems to be a common problem here.

So yes. One new cat. Who knows how many kittens very soon, which I am both looking forward to and dreading. Vet appointment at the low cost clinic on Wednesday, which I can only pray we'll be able to actually afford (we should be able to, it's just tight enough to be worrying). Morrigan is very sweet and very demanding and is going to rule the house as soon as we allow her out into it, and I cannot wait. Maybe she will stop grabbing my hand for love while I am working then. (She probably won't.)

I went to collapse on the bed in a fit of "I cannot write and therefore am a worthless human being". Ace came to lick my face (or try, because I didn't let her), and then laid down on the bed next to me so I could rest my head on her chest and listen to her heartbeat. When I tried to get up, she moved so her head was on my shoulder, pinning me down more effectively than I thought possible, and kept me there until I had calmed the fuck down and felt more or less better.

Good dog. Best friend.

...In other news, I'm still alive. My beta blockers continue to work - I walked almost two miles earlier this week without a cane (and while wrestling the dog to keep her out of the road) and I didn't die! Antidepressants are still... iffy - I had a pretty bad downswing a few weeks ago, which is part of why I haven't updated for so long. Medicaid actually came through, and I haven't been to see a doctor (or get new glasses) yet, but hopefully soon.

thatrainbow and I took the dog to the dog park a couple days ago. Ace spent the entire time racing around and trying (awkwardly) to make friends with the other dogs, and almost fell asleep on my lap on the car ride home. We're thinking about getting either a pair of kittens or a puppy, depending on whether or not Michaelcat stops being a little shithead after he's been neutered and how soon Mat's father comes through on his promise to get our front yard fenced. Either way, I'm excited and would like my small furry creature now now now.

...yep. My life is exciting.