war and glory, reinvention

Having now acquired a uni laptop for study, I'm handling the different parts of my life better. One of the things that I'm really starting to embrace is Obsidian.

After a couple of false starts, I've moved my daily journalling there--I've created a template, and literally the only thing I require of myself each day is that I click the button that generates the daily note. Some days I don't do more than that, but as the template has a couple of verb tags, I come back afterwards and revisit. So far I mostly haven't been adding any details, but I am copying my 750 words in there, and if then afterwards at some point I will read through those (tag: to-do/tidy) and see whether anything resonates. This is a deliberately asynchronous process, because dumping the everything is cathartic, and I won't know what is going to resonate.

One of the interesting things is that I'm capturing bits and bobs of ideas, and not really worrying about where they go. It is possible that I'll never look at them again, and that is okay. but it is also possible that at some point I'll do a search on a word, see the set of things, and make a map of content. This is not a curated garden, this is a bushland with paths.

But! it means that I have draft blog posts that I remember to go and look at, because I have tagged them as blog/draft, and thus I have successfully separated out 'I have a thing I want to write' from 'dealing with posting'. Which is probably going to mean that things will be posted in clumps (this post is going straight into the editor, which is not the current normal).

Yesterday, I chose to leave uni at 4:30pm, because I had more than half an hours work of Stuff left to do (I did get it done, but later than planned; that is not the point of this post). Which meant that as I was nearing home, it was still a lovely bright day, and it wasn't raining. 

so, instead of heading for the interchange, and hoping to make it for the other bus, I got off across the road from the shopping centre, with the intention to walk home (roughly 2km) through the suburb. Back up plan was that if this turned out to be a Bad Idea, I could call for pick up. Which was a possibility--I'd walked up to the Tavern for an afternoon catchup, which involves Too Many stairs, and only some of them have convenient (if tediously slow) lifts, each taking me a single floor. Which meant I'd used the cane to get there and back. And done a bit of stretching when I got back to the office to discover that I was the last one in, and someone had turned the lights out.

But! back to the walk home. Lovely day, peaceful opportunity. I resisted the nearly overwhelming temptation to pull out my phone and my headphones, and put on a podcast in order to spend the time productively. Instead, the goal was to exist, in space, with no task but to be in the moment. 

And it was lovely. 

I spotted a lot of flowers--a daffodil, some white bulbs that I should recognise and don't, azaleas and/or camellias (really need a refresher on those), grevillia, something pretty in purple, and many that I admired and don't recall. 

Someone's mulberry is already fruiting, with tiny green fruits the size of my smallest fingernail covering it enough to look like leaves. 

A house has vanished, to be replaced by a concrete pad that doesn't look large enough, so I'm wondering whether it will be two stories. A front garden has vanished, leaving grey sand to blow away. 

I watched two buses go past--the one I might have caught, from too far down the side street to hear it, and one the other way thundering past as I was nearly home. 

I stopped to take a photo of gum nuts (proper gumnuts, I might remember to post that and explain why). 

I wandered past the tennis courts at the school where two adults and two kids were split up teaching the kids variously to hit a tennis ball with what looked like a totem tennis bat, and to ride a bike with trainer wheels. Just past there were a pair of tweens with a football, trying something fancy, based on the general behaviour.

It wasn't warm, and I was glad for my jumper, but there wasn't much wind. As I walked, the probably muscles in my right leg slowly untangled, and I went from unsure about this as an idea, through 'just another bit, then I'll know' into 'oh, actually, this is pretty good'. 

I managed mindfulness for a reasonable amount of the walk. I did get a bit bored and grumpy at myself, and lost the meditative feel when I was about five minutes from home, which was coincidentally about a minute before Artisanat messaged to see where I was at and whether I was wanting a lift from the station. But at that point there was little point in asking for a lift, so I stomped on home. 

I don't mind walking, but I'm dreadful at doing it recreationally. This, where it was a necessary path between where I was and where I wished to be, is a good compromise, but finding the spaces in my life where it fits is challenging. As the days get longer, I hope I'll remember that this is a net positive to deal with the pain, and that the more I walk, the more I can walk.