May. 26th, 2015 10:53 am
So that happened.
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Well that was a fun RP-related panic attack last night. Let's never do that again.
Like. It wasn't about RP - it wasn't about anything, at least initially. I just kind of ended up in a situation where my character was suddenly flipping out about things, and the actual physical/emotional component of the roleplaying sort of tricked my body into actually flipping out because I was breathing fast and my heart rate was elevated and everyone was looking at me all concerned so obviously there was something to be anxious about. And since it was tabletop and not an online game, I couldn't just... walk away between tags to cool off, and it took me a little while to realize it wasn't just the character anymore, I was actually having a panic attack.
I ended up going to lie down partway through, and taking an anxiety pill that knocked me out for the rest of the night, and I feel better now, but ugh. That was unpleasant.
(I would like to state for the record that it really was not the GM's fault for not warning me. I mean, if something similar happens in the future and I don't get a strong warning not to do the thing, I will be angry, but if you'd asked me beforehand, I probably wouldn't have seen a problem coming either. Now we all know better.)
Like. It wasn't about RP - it wasn't about anything, at least initially. I just kind of ended up in a situation where my character was suddenly flipping out about things, and the actual physical/emotional component of the roleplaying sort of tricked my body into actually flipping out because I was breathing fast and my heart rate was elevated and everyone was looking at me all concerned so obviously there was something to be anxious about. And since it was tabletop and not an online game, I couldn't just... walk away between tags to cool off, and it took me a little while to realize it wasn't just the character anymore, I was actually having a panic attack.
I ended up going to lie down partway through, and taking an anxiety pill that knocked me out for the rest of the night, and I feel better now, but ugh. That was unpleasant.
(I would like to state for the record that it really was not the GM's fault for not warning me. I mean, if something similar happens in the future and I don't get a strong warning not to do the thing, I will be angry, but if you'd asked me beforehand, I probably wouldn't have seen a problem coming either. Now we all know better.)
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I'm sorry things got turned upside down. We'll be more careful next time. <3
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At least you know what to look for now.
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