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mortalcityThe magical beta-blocker-enabled revelations continue! ...mainly in that I am rediscovering the joy in everything ever, and also remarkably chill about everything else.
Today I did all my tags, and then took an hour's break to read fic, and then spent three hours writing. I was gloriously productive, and did not freak out or hate myself when I realized I'd gotten distracted and forgot to squeeze in another hour of writing before midnight. So awesome.
I haven't even freaked out about having to go to counseling tomorrow. Yet. That's still making me anxious and twitchy if I think about it for too long, but I'm not letting myself do that. In all other areas, I am so calm I almost don't recognize myself, and I like it this way.
Writing this story for![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
origfic_bingo is both so much fun (Nate is my oldest character, it's been ages since I really wrote anything with her, and it's like hanging out with my best friend who I haven't seen in forever), and kind of painful (both because I'm out of practice and sometimes get stalled on the stupidest things, and because it's one big exercise in "Nate, this is the worst idea. Nate, are you suicidal? Nate, can't you tell these people are crazy?").
Kind of can't wait to be done with it, though. I forgot that certain characters (namely Nate and Grace) make my shoulders knot themselves up because of the wings I don't have. It hurts and I would like to give those muscles a break.
Iiii am getting weird about my games again. And by "weird", I mean I desperately want to make things happen GDI. It's not that I'm not happy in my games or even that I'm bored, exactly, I just... man, I'm a control freak. And I'm seeing things that as a mod I could and totally would address, but I am not a mod and the mods presumably have their own plans, but man it is weirdly grating to do nothing.
I don't want to mod a game again any time soon. I don't I don't I don't. Except man, I kind of do. Someone punch me in the face a few times, please. I need a reminder of why this is a bad idea.
So yeah, reading fic happened, because I have a billion bookmarks I've been meaning to read but... never get around to. So, starting to clear those out, and today there were two I absolutely have to share because there is just nothing I don't love about them. ...they are both incredibly not worksafe. FYI.
The Only Thing I Ever Want Anymore (3129 words) by
Dira Sudis
Post-Feed Shaun/Georgia. I swear I read this a half-dozen times because. Just. Yes. It is sweet and funny and heartbreaking and yes.
If You Find It Share It With The Rest Of Us (580 words) bymonanotlisa
S4 Peter/Olivia/Lincoln. *Sobs* I cannot explain how much I want this to be canon. Cannot. It breaks my heart knowing it's not going to happen because this is the only totally acceptable outcome with these three.
Today I did all my tags, and then took an hour's break to read fic, and then spent three hours writing. I was gloriously productive, and did not freak out or hate myself when I realized I'd gotten distracted and forgot to squeeze in another hour of writing before midnight. So awesome.
I haven't even freaked out about having to go to counseling tomorrow. Yet. That's still making me anxious and twitchy if I think about it for too long, but I'm not letting myself do that. In all other areas, I am so calm I almost don't recognize myself, and I like it this way.
Writing this story for
origfic_bingo is both so much fun (Nate is my oldest character, it's been ages since I really wrote anything with her, and it's like hanging out with my best friend who I haven't seen in forever), and kind of painful (both because I'm out of practice and sometimes get stalled on the stupidest things, and because it's one big exercise in "Nate, this is the worst idea. Nate, are you suicidal? Nate, can't you tell these people are crazy?").Kind of can't wait to be done with it, though. I forgot that certain characters (namely Nate and Grace) make my shoulders knot themselves up because of the wings I don't have. It hurts and I would like to give those muscles a break.
Iiii am getting weird about my games again. And by "weird", I mean I desperately want to make things happen GDI. It's not that I'm not happy in my games or even that I'm bored, exactly, I just... man, I'm a control freak. And I'm seeing things that as a mod I could and totally would address, but I am not a mod and the mods presumably have their own plans, but man it is weirdly grating to do nothing.
I don't want to mod a game again any time soon. I don't I don't I don't. Except man, I kind of do. Someone punch me in the face a few times, please. I need a reminder of why this is a bad idea.
So yeah, reading fic happened, because I have a billion bookmarks I've been meaning to read but... never get around to. So, starting to clear those out, and today there were two I absolutely have to share because there is just nothing I don't love about them. ...they are both incredibly not worksafe. FYI.
The Only Thing I Ever Want Anymore (3129 words) by
Post-Feed Shaun/Georgia. I swear I read this a half-dozen times because. Just. Yes. It is sweet and funny and heartbreaking and yes.
If You Find It Share It With The Rest Of Us (580 words) by
S4 Peter/Olivia/Lincoln. *Sobs* I cannot explain how much I want this to be canon. Cannot. It breaks my heart knowing it's not going to happen because this is the only totally acceptable outcome with these three.
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Also *snuggles* Let me know if you want George and Shaun to get into any shenanigans. For now, we have... Eleanor trying to move the van coming. And we need to deal with the CT thing. And the dragon thing.
Other than that, you know you can get him to do anything you want. ;)
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And thank you. *Snuggles* All of those things should keep me busy and happy for a while, and... like I said, I'm not bored in Sing, really, I'm just used to having my hands in everything and running plots and it is still weird to not be doing that.
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:D It should actually work out, because I tend to be reactive RPer most of the time, so you CAN TOTALLY TAKE THE LEAD!
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