we are not lost

Aubrey; also Birdie.
Student and writer. Polyamorous and really gay. Chronically ill.
Local queen of cait sidhe. Powered by caffeine, anxiety, and spite.
Jan. 20th, 2017 12:18 pm

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mortalcity: Text: "Note the swirling vortex of death." (text | note the swirling vortex of death)
[personal profile] mortalcity
I really need to find something to do today that's not just being sad and repeatedly refreshing tumblr in the hopes it will distract me. It won't. Tumblr cannot save me.

I keep trying to kick myself into poking at writing things but I don't even know where to start right now. Even just messing with my bullet journal doesn't seem worth the energy. Every time I try to put on something for background noise, I get annoyed with it after a minute or two.

What the fuck do I do with myself when it feels like the world is quietly ending? I've got nothing.
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Date: 2017-01-20 05:52 pm (UTC)

alexseanchai: Katsuki Yuuri wearing a blue jacket and his glasses and holding a poodle, in front of the asexual pride flag with a rainbow heart inset. (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
There's a quote, I think it's from the finale of Angel. (Never seen it. Just the quote, which I am mangling badly here.) He says, if you knew the world was ending, what would you do? She says, she'd keep on doing the work she's doing: helping people. Not many, and maybe not much, but she'd keep at it.

There's also the starfish story. The little kid and the beach covered in starfish that will die out of the water. Can't get enough starfish back in the ocean to make a difference to the starfish collectively. Can make a difference to that starfish, and that one, and that one.

Take care of yourself, okay? It's okay if the only person you can help is you.
Date: 2017-01-22 02:26 pm (UTC)

mortalcity: Rikki Barnes tacklehugging Steve Rogers. (Marvel | tacklehug)
From: [personal profile] mortalcity
Thank you. I didn't answer the other day because I couldn't read nice/encouraging comments without crying, but I really appreciate it.
Date: 2017-01-22 06:09 pm (UTC)

alexseanchai: Katsuki Yuuri wearing a blue jacket and his glasses and holding a poodle, in front of the asexual pride flag with a rainbow heart inset. (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai

*nod* Just keep taking care of yourself.

Date: 2017-01-20 05:53 pm (UTC)

rootsofthestories: (Default)
From: [personal profile] rootsofthestories
This is pretty much where I'm at too. I want to do things but thinking past ohgodohgodohgod is really hard and it's making me twitchy.

If you need someone to talk to, poke me. We can maybe distract each other or something.
Date: 2017-01-22 03:04 pm (UTC)

mortalcity: A bloodstained note reading "Come now, Alice. It's only a dream." (BW | tangled and tied in the lies)
From: [personal profile] mortalcity
♥ I am sorry you are suffering in the pit of MORTAL TERROR too. I don't... know what kind of distraction would help or what kind of push I need to actually get things done, but thank you. If there's anything I can do to help you let me know?
Date: 2017-01-22 04:05 pm (UTC)

rootsofthestories: (Default)
From: [personal profile] rootsofthestories
Yeah, will do. My brain keeps going back and forth between "Nest in ALL the distractions' and "ohgodohgodohogodohgod".

In the end, everything is still awful though. Ugh.
Date: 2017-01-21 03:43 pm (UTC)

silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
From: [personal profile] silveradept
Write what you have, maybe? It might help just to get the feelings down on paper.
Date: 2017-01-22 03:32 pm (UTC)

mortalcity: Olivia Dunham, staring at the sky. (Fringe | the heavens are taken)
From: [personal profile] mortalcity
I might give it a shot today. Thank you. It's hard enough breaking through the inertia and trying to make words without also dealing with... all of this. Maybe dumping it on paper will help.
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