I can see it coming from the edge of the room, smiling in the streetlight...

[mortalcity]

Freaking out about everything.

I am now uninsured, because the military is terrible and wants me to suffer. Trying to get an appointment with one of the free clinics in the area, but actually getting in contact with anyone is apparently all but impossible.

I am running out of meds (and skipping meds for days at a time, because the idea of actually running out sends me into panic attacks). I probably cannot afford new meds whenever I do finally get a prescription. I have gotten really fond of not crying and sleeping all the time, and not wanting to kill myself, and I am fucking terrified to see all of that coming for me again.

We still don't have a place to live, and we have a deadline coming up fast - at the end of the month, we need to leave here, and I am not positive we will have somewhere to go. It is too damn hot and we have too many people and animals to live out of the car until we figure something out; we would literally die. If we find a place, I have no idea where we will find the money to put down first and last month's rent plus a deposit.

I cannot get anything done because I can't focus around the overwhelming panic, and I am not particularly productive when I'm unmedicated, and ugh, that's another thing I'm going to lose when my meds run out. I have been doing so well and I want to cry because there's nothing I can do.

Comments

[actuallyclintbarton]

We will work it out.

If worse comes to worse? Honestly? M can probably crash briefly with their mom and we can crash at Tammy and Cheryl's. I really doubt they'd say no, especially if we have A Plan.

I'll try calling the clinics again tomorrow, and I'll text Cheryl tonight about if she's found anything.

ALSO WE WILL BUY YOU HAIR CLIPS AT WALMART.

[mortalcity]

Ugggghhhh okay. Okay. I am just. We keep getting SO CLOSE to having things worked out but there is one thing in the way and everything falls apart and I cannot do that one more time. Fuck.

...and thank you. You wanna head out soonish?

[actuallyclintbarton]

This time we have a cushion, though. We have Tammy and Cheryl who I believe would help in a heartbeat if we needed it. And at the very worst, I really don't think my parents would let us end up homeless or whatever especially when we're in the same damn city.

And unless something goes HELLA wrong with the pet store, I think it'll work out and that's a job bringing in money. So. We'll work it.

And yes.

[mortalcity]

Your "I have no pants" face is less than comforting, but okay.

[actuallyclintbarton]

it's the only one that was moderately fitting for the situation, I felt.

[rootsofthestories]

I'm ready to go when you guys are.

And yes, I will crash with my mother if need be. We will work it out. I will start floating around links for money again and we will fucking figure this shit out. It will be okay. Not great, I won't say it will be great, but we'll see it through.

[actuallyclintbarton]

yep exactly this.

And gimme 20 minutes or so, I have a friend who needs to talk something out.

[magistrate]

If nothing else, even statistically speaking, I think it's vanishingly unlikely to experience a run of bad luck that lasts forever. And I think at this point, the universe probably owes you some things going right.

[mortalcity]

You would think so, but... here we are. Hopefully we'll figure out how to outrun it soon, because I am so tired.

[princeelmo]

i wish i had a magic wand to wave to make things go your way :c i would offer my place to you, but i live in indiana and that is very far away.

[mortalcity]

Thank you, friend. I appreciate the thought very much, even if you are far away.