we are not lost

Aubrey; also Birdie.
Student and writer. Polyamorous and really gay. Chronically ill.
Local queen of cait sidhe. Powered by caffeine, anxiety, and spite.
Jan. 8th, 2012 01:56 pm

Inside every man is a heart of sand, you can see it in his face...

mortalcity: Text: "We stopped checking for monsters under our bed when we realized they were inside of us." (OaS | DMA: Tegan)
[personal profile] mortalcity
All of my plans today end in "LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING ADULT!!!"

Guys, please don't let me try to clean the house. If I mention I might try it, find some way to make me sit down and stay sitting. Trying to clean will wear me the fuck out, and I have plenty of other things to do, but when I start being productive, I become convinced I'm superhuman, and that way lies madness and pain.

Anyway. I have not yet managed to psych myself up to "email my father LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING ADULT", which is the next thing on my list. It has been the next thing on my list for literally months - which covers my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, so now I have that extra paranoia that he's mad at me for not contacting him on holidays.

I think I'm going to shamelessly pull out the "suicidally depressed" card on this one. It might freak him out, but it's also my best chance of getting through that my brain chemistry is fucked the hell up, because I'm not sure he gets that. I know he probably won't be mad, I know he'll probably just be glad to hear from me, but you try getting that logic past anxiety and "I AM THE WORST DAUGHTER TO EVER LIIIIVE".

...my issues, let me show you them. :|

Thankfully, everything else I'm planning to do today is way the hell easier, I just need to get past... this.

...I think I'm going to clean the litterbox first. That's how much I want to do this. :\
  • Current Mood: anxious
  • Current Music: The Captain and the Hourglass - Laura Marling
Tags:
Flat | Top-Level Comments Only
Date: 2012-01-08 08:16 pm (UTC)

thatrainbow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] thatrainbow
*NOSTLE*

I love you. It would probably be good for him to get that newsflash about the "suicidally depressed" thing, too.
Date: 2012-01-08 08:31 pm (UTC)

mortalcity: Gwen Cooper peeking into a jail cell through a tiny opening. (TW | is it safe to come out?)
From: [personal profile] mortalcity
Yeah, we haven't really talked about it since... not long after I got out of the hospital. Which is partially my fault, 'cause it's not like I ever brought it up, but... nngh.
Date: 2012-01-08 08:33 pm (UTC)

thatrainbow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] thatrainbow
Yeah. Still, it would probably be good for him to realise that yeah, this is a thing that happens.
Date: 2012-01-08 08:42 pm (UTC)

kikibug13: (DT with kitty)
From: [personal profile] kikibug13
Just don't go on to more cleaning after the litterbox.

Just sayin'.
Date: 2012-01-08 09:23 pm (UTC)

mortalcity: Sonic screwdriver. Text: "It was a nice day... and then the Doctor was dumb." (DW | and then the Doctor was dumb)
From: [personal profile] mortalcity
*...totally has not been cleaning various parts of the house at random* I'll just... sit down now. I guess. :\
Date: 2012-01-08 09:24 pm (UTC)

kikibug13: (Facepaling (Dean))
From: [personal profile] kikibug13
How do you... how do you type that you shouldn't be cleaning and then... go on and do it. Never mind, not that I don't do equally strange things.

*snuggles, sits you down with a blanket*
Date: 2012-01-08 09:54 pm (UTC)

mortalcity: Girl and a wolf, sleeping together in the grass. (wolves | pack animals)
From: [personal profile] mortalcity
I really don't know. I got up to get a glass of water and suddenly I'm wandering around the house with a trash bag and a broom.

*Snuggles*
Date: 2012-01-08 10:01 pm (UTC)

kikibug13: (The boys are back!)
From: [personal profile] kikibug13
That's a very elusive glass of water. :P

Be kind to yourself. Because you're worth it!
Flat | Top-Level Comments Only