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mortalcityI exist. Doctor's visit yesterday was thankfully not horrible, and I was too tired to get really anxious about the whole medical setting thing. We were there forever, but once we actually got to see a doctor, everything was ridiculously quick and easy from there.
It's a harmless rash, possibly cause by a virus and probably triggered by stress, and it'll go away on its own. I have medicine to help the itching, I have been reassured that I don't have some kind of pox, and I no longer want to claw my own skin off, so that's good. I'm also more dizzy and nauseous than normal, but I'm going to blame that on the meds and hope it goes away soon.
Emotionally, I am... bleh. Angry. My brain pulls this trick where it warps depression into seething, senseless rage with no real target - which is just as well, because it feels like, given a target, I would burn down the world just for the hell of it. Usually as soon as I realize what's happening, it goes from anger to regular depression pretty quickly, but that's not happening this time for some reason.
I'm not sure what's happening in my brain anymore. Autumn and winter are usually the better half of the year for me, from an emotional/mental health standpoint, but that's so not the case this year and it's freaking me out. I can just about deal when I can predict and brace myself for bouts of crazy, but this... no.
It's a harmless rash, possibly cause by a virus and probably triggered by stress, and it'll go away on its own. I have medicine to help the itching, I have been reassured that I don't have some kind of pox, and I no longer want to claw my own skin off, so that's good. I'm also more dizzy and nauseous than normal, but I'm going to blame that on the meds and hope it goes away soon.
Emotionally, I am... bleh. Angry. My brain pulls this trick where it warps depression into seething, senseless rage with no real target - which is just as well, because it feels like, given a target, I would burn down the world just for the hell of it. Usually as soon as I realize what's happening, it goes from anger to regular depression pretty quickly, but that's not happening this time for some reason.
I'm not sure what's happening in my brain anymore. Autumn and winter are usually the better half of the year for me, from an emotional/mental health standpoint, but that's so not the case this year and it's freaking me out. I can just about deal when I can predict and brace myself for bouts of crazy, but this... no.
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