we are not lost

Aubrey; also Birdie.
Fantasy writer. Polyamorous and really gay. Mentally ill and disabled.
Local queen of cait sidhe. Powered by caffeine, anxiety, and spite.

mortalcity: A woman's wrist with a compass rose tattoo. (stock | keep following the heartlines)
Finally finished my application for improbable dream job and sent it in. I would have been done with it a week ago, but I was trying to get a hold of some people to acquire contact info and they were... about as useless as I have come to expect. I don't trust people anymore and these specific people are the reason. Gave up on them eventually and found alternate contacts, because fuuuuck relying on fundamentally unreliable people.

But the thing is done and I can stop stressing about it! Absolutely nothing is going to come of it, but I'm glad I got it in anyway.

And now I need to remember how words work, because I have totally failed at writing and RP stuff while dealing with this. But I don't know where to start, and if I'm being honest, all I want to do right now is play Dragon Age. Killing dragons and collecting things and knocking out quests is comforting to my neurotic completionist soul.
mortalcity: A barred door with the words "don't open, dead inside" painted on (zombies | dead inside)
Things I did not accomplish yesterday:
- ...writing
- Taking my meds? Maybe? I'm actually not sure.

Things I did accomplish yesterday:
- Painting my nails a really nice Angelica Schuyler copper
- Somehow finishing Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts with full court approval and forcing all three leaders to stop being children and work together (I didn't even know that was possible but it was great! I did it with an elf mage too!)
- So many tags

It is not what I wanted, but I will take it. But seriously, writing today. And so many caffeine pills. Why am I so fucking tired this week? I am running alarmingly low on caffeine pills.
Jan. 15th, 2016 07:09 pm

Nnngh.

mortalcity: Clint Barton carrying Kate Bishop, as she fires an arrow over his shoulder (Marvel | constant state of crisis)
This is less a proper update and more your periodic confirmation that I am still alive. I am very tired, my sleep schedule is broken, and I lost basically the last two weeks to this massive pile of disability paperwork that came in the mail all at once. I finished the thing, though, and only freaked out a little, so there's... that...

I have also been playing a lot of Pokemon and made significant progress on my Pokedex, which I am determined to complete for the first time ever. These are my accomplishments lately. I'll take it, I guess.

I really need to find something to write some drabbles about while I sort out the structure of longer writing-things. Where are ideas? Someone help me out here.
mortalcity: Text: "Just because you're a zombie doesn't mean you're a bad person." (zombies | because you're a zombie)
I finally got Inquisition to open on my desktop! Still don't know if it will, you know, run, never mind run well (that's not happening, because I really need a new computer that is actually meant to handle gaming), but it's not stuck on an endless black screen so this is exciting progress!

Also, I have a desk on which to put that computer, as soon as we bring it inside and assemble it. Right now it is a frightening collection of platforms and metal rods, but I think once it's together it will work out much better than my current desk.

I'm not... entirely sure where we're going to put my current desk - I kind of expected the people who gave it to me to take it back, and we don't really have any room for it in the house if my new desk is taking the spot it's supposed to occupy. Ummm. Well, if they don't take it back in the next week or so, [profile] thebonesofferalletters is welcome to rent a truck or try to fit it in their mother's SUV or whatever and take it home.

I have been sleeping for at least 14 hours a day, probably more, for the past several days. I'm also feverish, which suggests I'm sick rather than depressed, so that's nice. Sick tends to go away faster.

Still don't know if I'm able to work yet - I'm seeing if liberal doses of caffeine will help me stay conscious and alert enough to actually accomplish anything today. Wish me luck.