we are not lost

Aubrey; also Birdie.
Fantasy writer. Polyamorous and really gay. Mentally ill and disabled.
Local queen of cait sidhe. Powered by caffeine, anxiety, and spite.

mortalcity: A painted rock. It has a face with its tongue sticking out. It knows things. (OtGW | that's a rock fact)
Urgh. I had to take some anxiety meds before I went to bed last night - double the tiny amount I usually take because I wasn't calming the fuck down fast enough - and I woke up with the worst headache, because I can never drink enough water to compensate for the meds dehydrating me. This on top of the mundane but annoying hallucinations before I fell asleep (it... went kind of like this), really vivid nightmares, and sleeping through my alarm.

On the bright side, I actually finished a thing last night! By... bribing myself with a nap if I wrote words fast enough, and boy it worked. I'll take it, I guess. So... cleaning that up and posting it to [community profile] rainbowfic, while I try to figure out what I'm working on next.

I should probably finish any one of the half-finished things sitting on my Google Drive, but... ugghhh...
mortalcity: A flock of corvids against a pale sky (corvids | the devil counted to seven)
The last month, in summary: generally crap. Got derailed from writing for a while because of breakup drama, struggled with RP things because of reasons. Basically, February can go to hell.

Except for the Hamilton bootleg. That part was not so terrible.

Word Count: 12327 (with RP); 2755 (without RP). ....like I said, not great.
Stories Written: This one WG ficlet is all I finished; a couple of other things slowly getting added to that I will finish eventually.
Reading: A lot of Animorphs, currently paused at #25 while I wait for [personal profile] actuallyclintbarton to catch up with me; The Sleeping Beauty by Mercedes Lackey, because I like to read silly fluffy fantasy when I am sad.

This month: writing again! Actually finishing some goddamn fics. Figuring out what the hell I am doing with my larger projects. Burying myself in work in an attempt to distract myself from overwhelming anxiety about my living situation, once again.

Month goals, for accountability reasons )
mortalcity: Girl and a wolf, sleeping together in the grass. (wolves | pack animals)
Ugh, I keep passing out stupid early every night and sleeping forever. No one let me take a nap tonight. Just... don't. Yell at me to get coffee instead.

On the bright side, I finished a short ficlet last night! It's the first time I've actually written in this universe, so I'm not... entirely sure what I'm doing, but I had some [community profile] rainbowfic novelty beads that kind of demanded it, so. Wild Girls! Posted here if you're in [community profile] rainbowfic and here if you're not (that comm is locked because I don't like posting original fic publicly, but I will immediately accept any join requests from anyone I actually recognize).

I don't have to be in my office for another couple hours, but I think today I will be editing some wiki pages annnd writing another WG ficlet. Hopefully not getting lost in wolf vidoes on YouTube again, but I can't promise anything. This month has been a complete mess, but I am slowly bouncing back.
mortalcity: (Hamilton | looking for a mind at work)
On a completely different note. Posting writing goals for the month, because [profile] thebonesofferalletters did it and it seemed like a good idea.

  • [community profile] rainbowfic Stuff
    • Write 2500 words for the comm Not quite, but close enough to count
    • Actually finish two or three fics (minimum...) I finished... one
    • Finish prism (+ prism saturation because I'm a masochist)

  • Wiki Stuff
    • Put together the egregore page
    • Add a few more DMA character pages

  • RP Stuff

...I feel like there's something important I'm forgetting here, but whatever. I'll come back and edit it in if I think of it.
mortalcity: Text: "Can I assume from your total silence and blank faces that you're all with me?" (text | total silence and blank faces)
I was just trying to write a cute backstory fic for Kilgate, and I accidentally threw in some fucking terrible foreshadowing. I kind of hate myself for this oh my god. I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY IT HURTS SO MUCH BUT NO THIS IS AWFUL. MISTAKES WERE MADE.

...on the bright side, I finally finished this stupid story that's eaten my last two months. A couple thousand words isn't much for the time it took me to write, but I finished something and I'm so relieved because I was starting to think I wasn't capable of it anymore. [community profile] rainbowfic people, please be nice to me when I post this because I have been struggling and could use some reassurance I'm still... not totally incompetent at this.

I guess I have to pick something else to work on now. Maybe a few drabbles, if I can actually force myself to write something under a thousand words...
Apr. 8th, 2015 07:10 pm


mortalcity: Text: "We stopped checking for monsters under our bed when we realized they were inside of us." (OaS | DMA: Tegan)
Finished my first story for [community profile] rainbowfic! I'm just so glad to be finishing things recently and I need this to continue.

Crossposted fic to rainbowfic and onasaturday (OAS comm is locked but if you follow me here you're welcome to join). Fairies are terrible, but we all knew this already. Also Tegan is sad and needs all the hugs. (This is a backstory fic, so she does get them eventually. Just not from her family, but that's for the best.)

Idk if I'm writing today. I am ahead of schedule, I went out in the world for groceries, and people in RP-land are being ridiculous (one specific person, really), which has sapped the very last bit of care I have for today. I might just nest in game-building and video games?

Actual work again tomorrow.